


I Thought They Were Invisible

by Evie_adams273



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Albus has a panic attack, Albus is scared, Christmas Holidays, First Scene, Gen, JSP feels, James Potter feels, James is a good brother, James tries to be better, Lily is a brilliant sister, Potter Family Feels, Scorpius doesn't really do a lot here, Thestrals, i insulted year seven, opening scenes, quotes from the play, sorry - Freeform, spot the digs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 09:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21033806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evie_adams273/pseuds/Evie_adams273
Summary: "Except for the Thestrals. Watch out for the Thestrals!"James never gave a second thought to his comments. The throwaway jokes about being in Slytherin. The comment about Thestrals. He didn't really think that it would ever matter.But it did.





	I Thought They Were Invisible

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning - panic attacks, mentions of bullying

James pushed through the rows of bustling students, hoping to reach his compartment before it got filled with First Years. It constantly irritated him that First Years were allowed to go down to the train first. It always meant that they spread themselves fairly evenly through the compartments and there were never enough seats left.

The noise was another irritating factor of the decision to send all the students traipsing down to Hogsmeade station at similar times, after the First years. The racket of however many students all talking and shouting was somewhat overwhelming. Or he imagined it was. He liked loud noise. He was, however, painfully aware that a lot of people he knew didn’t, which was partially why he was fighting to get a compartment – so that the people who didn’t feel comfortable with the noise or crowds knew they would have a seat.

He turned around as he heard someone shouting his name, and saw Lily forcing her way through the hundreds of people, intent on reaching him. He turned on his heel, immediately fighting to get back to her. She looked terrified, and he couldn’t dismiss that. Lily rarely let her fear show.

She didn’t speak as they met, simply grabbing his sleeve and pulling him further back through the crowds. He didn’t question her, even when they reached the carriages and she pulled him sharply to the side, leading him to the edge of the woodland.

James caught a glimpse of Scorpius’ white-blond hair poking out from behind the tree, and his blood started to run cold as it occurred to him that he hadn’t seen Albus yet. Surely Albus would be okay. He wasn’t in danger. Surely Albus would be okay.

He wasn’t.

He was sat at the base of one of the trees, rocking back and forth as he muttered constantly. His shoulders were heaving, as if he was out of breath, but he grew paler with every passing second.

Scorpius was kneeling beside him, trying to talk to him, to keep him calm, but James could see that he had very little idea of how to help. He knelt down next to them, taking Albus’ hand gently. He also didn’t really know what he was doing, but he had to do something. He couldn’t except Scorpius to just cope with this when he had his own battles to fight.  
“Albus,” James said softly. “Albus, can you hear me?”  
“They – they were invisible,” Albus gasped. “You told me they were invisible.”  
“I don’t understand, Albus,” James bit his lip. “Albus, just try and concentrate on me, okay?”  
“You said I should watch out but they were invisible and they’re not.”

Fuck.

James knew what had happened. He knew what Albus had seen. The Thestrals that drew the Hogwarts coaches, the things that James had teased him about once upon a time, he had seen them.  
“Albus, listen to me. You’re safe. Okay? You’re safe. It’s just me, Lily and Scorpius. You’re safe.”  
“People died,” Albus had started to cry. “People died because of me.”  
“Listen to me, Albus,” James said firmly. “It was not your fault. None of it was your fault.”  
“Those things,” Albus sobbed. “I thought they were invisible.”

He collapsed into James, who wrapped his arms around him and rocked him back and forth a little, trying to murmur reassurances. He didn’t try to rush his brother. There was little point in doing that. There was little point in trying to move him.

Part of him wanted to tell Scorpius and Lily to get on the train in case he and Albus missed it, but he knew they wouldn’t go. They wouldn’t leave Albus. None of them would.

A few minutes later, Albus’ breathing had started to calm a decent amount, and Scorpius knelt beside the two of them, placing a hand on Albus’ shoulder.   
“We should get on the train,” he said softly.  
“They’re not invisible,” Albus’ voice cracked. “I – I can’t…”  
“Here,” James pulled his jacket off, ignoring the chill in the air. “Can I put this over your eyes? We’ll be right here.”

Albus nodded, helping James blindfold him, before he stood up slowly, reaching out to find them. James took one arm and Lily took the over. Together, the four of them walked back towards the train, which was a little easier now that the majority of the crowds were gone.

As they stepped onto the platform, James took the blindfold off and Albus wiped his eyes a little, before he stepped onto the train and started walking along the corridor.

Surprisingly, there were still a few compartments left and Scorpius and Albus ducked into one, offering small smiles at Lily and James as they started to close the door. James stopped them, biting his lip.  
“Do you mind if I stay?” he asked quietly.  
“Okay,” Albus nodded. “Are you – are you all right?”

James nodded back as he followed them into the compartment. Lily explained that she had to go find her friends but she would come back later to see how they were. James sat down, and Albus and Scorpius sat opposite him, smiling a little awkwardly.

James couldn’t shake what had happened. He couldn’t shake the memories of teasing Albus about being in Slytherin because he hadn’t really thought it would happen. He couldn’t shake the memories of teasing Albus about the Thestrals, that one throwaway comment on the platform, because he had never considered the possibility that Albus would ever be able to see them.

He wanted to wrap his arms around Albus and never let go. He wanted to fight back against anyone who had ever attempted to hurt his little brother. He wanted to scream at the world for directing all of its hurt and pain onto one of the kindest people to ever exist.

James wished that he could be there more, that he wasn’t run off his feet constantly when he tried to balance NEWT work and Quidditch. Part of him screamed at him that he should quit Quidditch because, if he was honest with himself, he needed his family to come first. He could play in holidays, or in the evenings when he didn’t have as much work. But he wanted to spend more time with his family.

With Albus.

Because Albus had suffered so much and he had never truly been there. He had never stepped in when the bullies had attacked, unless the attack had gotten physical. He’d always told himself that he didn’t know what to do, but that wasn’t true. He never stepped in because he was a coward and he didn’t want to ruin friendships. Because he somehow justified being friends with bullies.

He bit his lip. As soon as they got home, he would write to every single one of them. He would tell them that he had no interest in interacting with them in any way and, if they came after his brother again, he would come after them.

Albus didn’t deserve any of it. He didn’t deserve the hurt he had experienced, at any point in his life, and James loathed himself because he was well aware that he was partially responsible.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.  
“You just helped,” Albus frowned.  
“For teasing you,” James continued. “For – for so long. It was shitty. I’m sorry.”  
“There are worse things,” Albus shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

James nodded, but he could see that Albus didn’t really believe what he had said. He still looked pale and somewhat scared. James stood up, holding out his hand. Albus took it, frowning again, and James pulled him into a hug, holding on tightly.  
“If I am ever a dick again,” he murmured, “you tell me. Because I kept fucking up and I won’t do that anymore.”

Albus held on a little tighter, and James let himself smile a little. He could fix his mistakes. Years of mistakes.

He could be a decent person rather than just pretending.

He pretended a lot.

No. He didn’t.

He used to pretend a lot.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to @starcaseballet on twitter for breaking my heart while I waited to buy food this morning.  
I hope you're not crying too hard. I didn't really plan - any of this. So I hope it's not too shitty.  
Because that's how I feel right now so...yeah.  
Thanks for reading.  
Kudos and comments really appreciated right now.  
Twitter: @evieadams273


End file.
